Ho Ho Ack

Every year I go through the same process: about October I curmudgeonly whine about Christmas decorations going up, round about Thanksgiving I start to ease up and grumble that it’s probably getting close enough for decorations, and finally around the middle of December I reluctantly get into the Christmas spirit. Well, I’m happy to report I haven’t relented yet, but really, can you blame me? Today’s world is not the same one I remember as a kid around Christmas time. To wit:

  • What’s Santa up to? – Recent concerns over pedophiles caused a British shopping center to install a Webcam in their Santa’s grotto.
  • There ought to be a law! Oh, there is – San Francisco security kicks carolers out of Union Square…for not having a permit to sing. Oh, did I forget to mention? The carolers were fifth- and sixth-grade children.
  • Can’t please ’em all – From the “you can’t win for trying” category comes the story of the Sydney Mayor who tried to be politically correct and installed only one meager Christmas tree at the city hall…in the spirit of not offending non-Christians.
  • eBay get ready – The town of Eastlake, Ohio, is selling the town Christmas decorations. How…festive.
  • Even Snow White gets the ax – Apparently the market owners thought a tiny detail like the pop singer’s naked posing on her new album cover goes against the purity that is Snow White. Another market didn’t think so and hired her right away: “We could not believe they didn’t want her. We are happy to take her on.”
  • Hey, he is RED – York clergymen are up in arms over the opening this holiday season of “Satan’s Grotto” as an anti-Christmas attraction.
  • At least they’re easier to ignore – Cost cutting hits everyone and everything and the Salvation Army is no exception. Look for the familiar red bucket and ding-ding bell at a corner near you, complete with…an animate cardboard bell ringer! At least they didn’t outsource the job…
  • Serial Grinches – Somebody in Greeley, Colorado is aping the infamous Grinch this year and stealing the town’s trees and decorations. I bet little Cindy Who is very upset.

And finally, from the “you think you had a bad day” category:


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