Delicate Dilemmas

What would late winter be without my perennial cold? Ya, I habba bad cold and it’s not much fun, as usual. I think I’m at the top of the cycle, so things should be improving. Wouldn’t be so bad, except that the s.o. (significant other) has been laid up with a bad back for a few weeks now, so I’ve been doing the domestic goddess thing (domestic part for sure, goddess is arguable…).

While I’m used to doing all those things from my days as a bachelor, I wasn’t quite ready for the clothes washing routine she uses for her “delicates.” Hey, I’m a guy…you have soap, clothes, and a washer…how difficult can this be? You toss ’em in, dump some soap, turn a few knobs, and the clothes come out looking reasonably the same color as they went in (I confess to wearing my share of grayed underwear in the past, but I digress…). Now when I wash her delicates, not only are there “dark” delicates and “light” delicates but each has special soap, and special procedures. Not willing to incur her wrath if I screw something up, I made her stand there while I sorted and filled the washer. But the real fun begins in the dryer cycle. As a guy, you have wet clothes and a dryer and some buttons. How hard is this? Nooo, we have pre-fluffing, timed air fluff cycles, delicate cycles, ten minutes partial dryings, etc….but only for this but not that, then hang these up on specific hangers, but “don’t dry the pantyhose and make sure you hang things up inside out.” Sheesh. Had no idea women’s clothes required the exactness of gene therapy. Maybe the military should have enlisted domestic goddesses to oversee their intelligence efforts. No doubt they’d leave no stone unturned.

All in all, though, I can’t really complain. Guys have exacting procedures for things they do and care about, so why not compulsive behavior for taking care of delicate dainties? I’m sure the extra care makes them last longer, although if this keeps up I wonder if it will have the same effect on our relationship! As with all things, time has a way of healing and our routine should (hopefully) be back to normal in a few weeks and I’ll be free of these perplexing delicate dilemmas. In the meantime, I need to find yet another box of Kleenex and the dryer just dinged, so I have to go and hang something up…inside out, most likely.

2 Responses

  1. You’re the man being a “domestic goddess” while the S.O.’s flattened. Happy dance your way. Did you want the strong and competent nurse, or the airhead who looks like Pamela Anderson “enhanced”?

  2. Cappy here. The S.O. with the bad back. An MRI and two bulging discs later I am basically couch bound. I am allowed to lay down or stand and walk a little per several doctors. This does not bode well with our daily routine. I can still manage to make coffee or I would probably be out on my ear. The Inkmuser has been really great in doing almost everything including my “delicates”, as I am about one step this side of useless at the moment. He does find laundry very frustrating with some of its intricies. However, it is no more frustrating than when he starts changing things on the computer and either doesn’t tell me or rattles off this line of stuff that I am supposed to do. which sounds basically Greek to me. As you may have guessed I am probably less computer literate than he is laundry literate.

    In the meantime however, he has come down with a sinus thing and is pretty miserable so between us we are doing what we can. I do anything that I can do standing up and he does anything that requires bending or pulling or lifting of any kind. One of the things he has been stuck with is grocery hhopping, it is a dilemna for him as I am the coupon queen who goes to three grocery stores buying what is on sale and with the best coupon. We have achieved compromise.I give him a list, he goes to one store and usually doesn’t mess with coupons. He comes home and describes the whole trip(does it show that I am tired of being stuck on the couch) and I say thank you I really appreciate everything you are doing. We eat what he brings home and we will survive.

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